numberthreeme

Mostly about Jakarta, and everything in between

New meaning of life. I have no idea.

Jadi, bagaimana liburannya? Sudah seminggu di kota Padang. I don’t know how to answer my own question. Harusnya liburan tapi ternyata sekalian mencari kejelasan soal hubungan. I lost my best friend, you all who read my previous post knew that. Sudah feeling kalau ini memang tidak bisa dilanjutkan. Tapi tetep aja…sedih. Mana ada sih yang putus cinta terus hahahihi. Mana juga yang putus cinta kemudian tidak kecewa. Marah? Wah iya. Ada hal-hal yang sudah retak, tidak bisa diperbaiki dan rasanya pengin misuh-misuh aja gitu. Susah rasanya untuk senyum. Pengin rasanya nangis sebebas-bebasnya, cuma di mana, bagaimana?

I need to work. I need to update Instagram account for my business. I need my brain, think. I need to keep going. Somehow, I want to pause. I want to stop. Semua yang saya lakukan rasanya salah. I need to find a new meaning of life. Kenapa lagi saya harus bekerja sangat keras, untuk siapa, ke depannya bagaimana, sesederhana itu. 😦

Why I felt so bad about breaking up?

I used to blame myself for whatever things gone wrong in my life. Kali ini, dia si mantan dengan gamblangnya bilang kalau saya ‘keminter’, sulit dibantah, terlalu sukses sebagai perempuan. Saya dibilang tidak bisa menghargai usaha dia sebagai lelaki. Saya terlalu keras. I heard about his disappointment, even the good things in me he saw it as minus point. How could he… I am speechless.

Dia memilih diam karena takut salah bicara dan akhirnya makin berantem. Sementara, kami jauh. Terpisah kota, terpisah pulau. Pada akhirnya we lost each other. I said I miss him couple times, but no respond. He didn’t  appreciate my feeling. I felt bad. That’s not a good sign to continue anything between us. He made me feel bad about myself.

I broke. That’s why I write these story in English. I thought he is the last one. He changed, he just changed. We dreamed on different life now. It is not something that we talked last year.

Yesterday, I deleted him from my social media friend. It’s hard to see him alive and meet someone new. Saya berharap dia mati saja, kok rasanya itu lebih mudah. Jahat, ya? Iya, I know. But, he doesn’t care about my feeling, my opinion, why was him making me upset, and so on and so on. I felt bad when remember we were so good together. We never had a fight when we lived in the same city. Only God know why. 😦

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This entry was posted on March 6, 2017 by in Saya pernah patah hati.

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Cuss mangga ke akun sebelah —>
#Repost @/jakartawalkingtour (@get_repost)
・・・
Sriwijaya: The Great Maritime Empire. 
We took a visit @/jalurrempah’s exhibition on @/museum_nasional_indonesia that inform us more about spices history, people who lived on the sea, plus the relation between Indonesia (was known as Nusantara) with rest of the world 🌏 Ini eik suka banget deh sama coloring-nya. Simple tapi jadi aja gitu. Masalahnya, cat minyaknya ngabisin berapa banyak ya? Hahaha 🤣 #painting #oilpainting #artexhibition Tell your story here @warnong.id CTS: Cek Toko Sebelah #Repost @/jakartawalkingtour (@/get_repost)
・・・
Checking gemstone 💎 👌 In case you’re wondering about how far I ‘normally’ could walk. The last one just because I strolled with Satria - 4 yo nephew. Tapi sih keknya gak ada yg penasaran, eik aja yg pengen posting hahaha Piknik di jalan 😅 Was in cemetery. Six PM, eery and gloomy. #goodbye #restinpeace Menuju Zenbu 
@yupiyupz @winda_mariam @maris_sadewa @medyfm

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