Mostly about Jakarta, and everything in between

I lost my best friend

I lost my best friend. I lost my best friend. I lost my best friend. It feels unreal. Somehow, I can not believe this thing will happen. We were a good friend for many years. He sent me birthday wishes every year. We went to friends wedding countless time. I can not believe I lost him now. It feels unreal.

I lost him because we decided to be a lover, partner of life. Then, we lost each other. I lost my half better, my very best friend. I lost both of ‘them’. I can not believe all of this. It feels unreal but it’s hurt.

The most hurtful thing that he said to me,” I can not talk to you. I don’t know how to talk with you easily.” How could people (especially you) can not talk with me. He don’t want to talk with me. How could you? He kept silent for weeks because I made him angry. Oh boy, there is always a reason why a girl became angry. He was busy with his own thought and did nothing.

It feels real only when he said I am too smart, too successful, and have a potential being an intimidative-dominant partner. Smart and successful. I don’t even talk about definition of success to him. He pointed something that I could not control, something I did not ask, then somehow become huge problem in relationship. It is real. Those problem are real. He can not accept the whole package of me. Why we even start all of this to ends up being stranger? I just lost my best friend. I just lost my best friend. I just lost my best friend.


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This entry was posted on March 3, 2017 by in Saya pernah patah hati.



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